LACHIE TURNER thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. The Waratahs winger went into meltdown when he was inadvertently given a hint that he was about to become the 826th Wallaby.
And when confirmation came through yesterday that the NSW back had made the team to play France in Brisbane on Saturday night and would become the sixth player to make his Wallabies debut this year, his mother, Trish, turned into a nervous wreck.
All Australian Test newcomers relate joyous stories of how they discovered they had made the Wallabies for the first time. But few are crazier than Turner's tale of what he went through yesterday when he was named as one of four changes, replacing the injured Lote Tuqiri on the wing.
Before the team was announced to the players, the backs and forwards were involved in separate meetings at their Brisbane hotel. Coach Robbie Deans, while talking to the backs, hit the wrong button on his computer and suddenly the Test side appeared on the big screen. The Wallabies coach soon realised his mistake, and took it off.
Turner takes up the story: "I saw my name up there for about half a second, and my body pretty much shut down straight away. For the next half-hour during that meeting I couldn't even speak. I was so nervous. I didn't know what to think. And Robbie got it off the screen pretty damned quick, moved on, and didn't make anything of it. I was like, 'Hang on mate, go back, tell me what that is c put me out of my misery'. But he's obviously a great poker player. He didn't let on at all. So I won't be playing him in cards, that's for sure.
"I even thought it could have been a list of the Australia A guys who had to go home. I had so many different theories swirling around about what that list was about. In the end, I had no idea where I was. I was just out of it. Some of the other guys were obviously looking at me and wondering: 'What's going on?"'
At the team meeting, Turner's good news was eventually confirmed.
"When they finally told me I was in the side it was again just emotional overload," he said. "I actually had to ask some of the other guys who was in the team because as soon as I saw my name I stopped listening. I had no idea what was going on. I was a walking zombie."
The first people Turner called
with the news were his parents, Trish and Warren, in Sydney. It was a highly emotional moment.
"Mum's worse than I am at the moment. She's had the song 'I am a Wallaby' in the CD player ever since I've been picked in the squad, and she's been waiting to play it to me," Turner said.
"She played it down the phone today and when it got to the bit about being a father-son and a Wallaby number on my back, she actually broke down in tears. That really brought everything crashing home to me c the opportunity I've got and how lucky I am.
"When Mum played the song, she was driving into Sydney, and had to get her sister to drive because she was too much of a wreck. The Turner family are definitely on struggle street at the moment c we don't know what's going on."
And Suncorp Stadium spectators be warned. "Before games Trish and Warren are usually more nervous than I am, and they'll be up here in the stands," Turner said. "I'm sure the way they usually carry on, people around them will be thinking they're absolute weirdos."
Fullback Adam Ashley-Cooper, openside breakaway Phil Waugh and No.8 Stephen Hoiles also moved into the Test team at the expense of Cameron Shepherd, George Smith and Wycliff Palu. Their stories were far more subdued. Normal even.
France, meanwhile, last night announced 11 positional changes to their Test team.
Wellington: All Blacks halfback Jimmy Cowan has been ordered to stop drinking alcohol "altogether" or face the sack after a New Zealand Rugby Union misconduct hearing. Cowan has been arrested twice in the past two months for disorder offences following drinking binges.
